June 2, 2010
You would think I would learn to keep my big mouth shut. I fail to start my brain, put my mouth in gear, and off we go…down Trouble Lane.
Regular readers of JuicyMaters .Com know that my house burned back in October of 2008, and that I lived in a motel for several months until deciding, in March of last year, to build a yurt where the foundation for the burned house was.
Until my house burned I had owned a small herd of dairy goats and a flock of laying hens…and I had an Anatolian Shepherd, Awanita, as a livestock guard dog. At that time Awanita was the last of a long line of dogs I had owned since before I was 10 years old.
Well, between living in the motel, and then, after deciding to build the yurt, living in a 24 foot travel trailer, there just wasn’t room for a dog, especially a larger breed like I was used to.
I’m sorry… I know some of you like small dogs, and that’s OK… But that’s just not my style. Quick… Small… Fast… Noisy… Quick… These just aren’t the traits I look for in a dog for me.
Did I mention an aversion to quick? Did I mention an aversion to fast?
I’m not fond of quick and fast dogs, and noisy is not high on my list, either.
Please don’t get me wrong (and to my readers with small dogs, please don’t take offense and come after me with knives, hatchets, or other sharp implements), it’s not that I actually dislike small dogs… I have just never dealt with them well, and the older I get the less likely it is that that will improve.
I haven’t had knee surgery…yet.
My back is usually stiff, and it’s a looooonnnggg way down to where small dogs roam.
My nerves, when dealing with small, yappy dogs, are slowly getting worse…and they were not good to start with.
You folks know where this is going, don’t you? My readers are smart (that’s why they read JuicyMaters .Com) and I know you have figured this out.
Thanks to a “friendly” neighbor, who I slipped up and told, “I’m thinking about getting a dog.”… I now have a dog.
A small dog.
A quick dog.
A yappy dog.
A small, quick, yappy dog.
I told you folks, sometimes my big mouth gets me in trouble. Sometimes, I think the actor Louis Gossett Jr., in the movie “Iron Eagle”, was talking about me when he suggested, “… send him to an institution where he will learn to keep his BIG MOUTH SHUT.”
Thanks, Jennifer. I’ll do you a big favor one day.
Seriously, I like the dog. It’s just that small dogs present issues I’ve never had to deal with.
For starters, what do I named her? Big dogs are easy… Brutus… Zeus… Killer… Or, for females, Bertha… Big Mama… But what do you name a small, quick, yappy dog? Admittedly, this dog is going to get bigger, but not by much. She probably has five or 10 different breeds in her, but the biggest part of her is Jack Russell Terrier, and Jack Russells just don’t get very big.
For now, what to call her is easy. She is a puppy, and she acts like a puppy. She stumbles, she steps on her ears, and is generally so clumsy she couldn’t walk and chew gum at the same time…if she chewed gum.
For now she has a puppy name…DAD…Dumb A** Dog, but she’s going to get older and smarter…
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE… Tell me she is going to get smarter…even if she’s not. Lie to me and tell me she is. Also, do me a favor. While you are lying to me about her getting smarter…
Select a few names. Names for a small, fast, quick, yappy dog.
A dog that is probably smarter than me. A dog that will probably learn to keep its big mouth shut.
I know I haven’t. Yet.