You know, sometimes this blogging thing amazes me. I’ll sit here for hours, ready to write, and the muse just seems to be on vacation. I can’t find a creative thought anywhere in the North Georgia mountains, much less sitting here at the laptop.
Then, I glance up, and there on the TV is a chimpanzee worthy of emeritus status over at Cantankerous Old Coots University. Who needs creativity when there’s real life out there to watch?
The story, out of Kansas City, didn’t explain how this chimp escaped her home, but the news story picked up where folks in a neighborhood had called 911 when they saw a 300 pound chimpanzee running through the area, and it included video from two sources.
I haven’t laughed so hard in years.
Apparently the chimp had somehow gotten out of its cage at a nearby rehabilitation center (no, she wasn’t Lindsey Lohan’s roommate…a monkey rehab center), Casa la Monkee, and decided to go walkabout for a bit.
The first look I got of Souki the Chimp was through the dash cam video from a police patrol car. Souki and the police car seem to be either in a standoff in the middle of the street or preparing for a gunfight at high noon in an old west town.
Separated from the patrol car by about 25 yards, and never taking her eyes off the cruiser, Souki paced back and forth from curb to curb, as though deciding if she should draw down or back off.
She knew the police were armed…she’s a smart chimp…and she realized she had left her gun belt back in her cage, so she grabbed the only weapon she could find, a garbage can by the roadside, and slowly approached the car.
In all honesty, Souki looked curious, not combative, but I figgered the story needed some drama…
Souki got to the front end of the patrol car, banged the garbage can against it, and climbed up on the hood. The last thing we see from that camera is Souki peering into the car, banging on the windshield, and finally kicking it, leaving me with an excellent view of the bottom of her foot as the video clip ends.
Incidentally, Souki needs a pedicure…
The next clip in the news story is shot by a neighbor on her cell phone camera (from the safety of her front porch by the way), and shows the same scene, except a more expanded field of view.
There, in the middle of the street, sits Souki, looking around and enjoying a sunny afternoon, for all the world looking like she is thinking, “Hey folks…wassup? What are y’all lookin’ at? Haven’t you ever seen a chimpanzee before? Don’t you get Animal Planet on your TV?”
It’s really comical. Six or eight police cars sitting all over the place, a couple of dozen people in their yards, on their porches, and one couple taking no chances and watching the commotion from the safety of their rooftop.
Now THAT couple obviously doesn’t watch Animal Planet. If they did they’d know that climbing to the roof wouldn’t even slow Souki down if she wanted to join them. I can hear her comments to the couple now, “Hey…don’t get your shorts in a bunch! I just want a better view of a chimp making chumps of these guys.”
This second view showed Souki approaching the police car, where an officer was standing in the open passenger door. It was when the officer didn’t want to play, instead diving in the car and slamming the door, that Souki climbed on the hood. “Com’on guys…some out and play.”
When they didn’t, she stomped on the windshield and climbed down in a huff. “Well…fooey on you guys!”
Now…this chimp is no dummy. Earlier an animal control officer jumped in his truck to avoid Souki. Her owner yelled a warning, “She knows how to open car doors!” That’s when she proved herself to be deserving of Cantankerous Professor Emeritus status over at COCU.
She opened the truck door, looked the animal control officer in the eye, and…flipped him off.
You go girl!
- Chimpanzee Escapes From Captivity, Destroys Cop Car (rawjustice.com)
- Escaped chimpanzee trashes police car (mirror.co.uk)
- Chimpanzee tastes freedom, smashes police car windshield (cnn.com)
- 300-Pound Chimp Wrecks Havoc (foxnews.com)