Jul 142011
The buttons on a Japanese bidet-style toilet t...

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I can just hear y’all now:

“Oh my God…Bob needs the toilet working to make coffee?”


“Dang…that’s gonna be some foul tasting coffee when he gets his toilet working…”


“Remind me to not go to the recipe category on this blog.  If Bob needs the toilet to fix coffee, I don’t want to know what he puts in other stuff he eats and drinks.”


“Someone please remind me…if Bob ever invites me over for dinner, I need to have a prior engagement!”

It’s  really not like the title implies, folks.  I promise.  It’s actually a story about my being a procrastinator…and paying the price for it.  Let’s call it a cautionary tale.

If you are a regular visitor here at JuicyMaters you know I love to cook.  While that is true, I absolutely HATE to cook for one person…myself.  Since I live alone…

Hey!  You in the back!  Enough with the smart cracks that I live alone because nobody would put up with me!

…anyway, as I was saying, I hate cooking for just me.  As a consequence a friend of mine and I have developed a routine of his coming over 3-4 times a week to eat dinner.  That way we both eat well (he’s a single guy too), getting good nutrition AND I do what I like…cook (for more than just me).

So…last night was a quintessential southern meal…fried chicken, mashed ‘taters, and green beans.  Dave showed up with a surprise…Crystal, his girlfriend, which was no problem.  I cook more than needed for dinner anyway…the leftovers make a good, easy lunch for the next day.

Well…we had a really good meal, a bit of conversation, then just before Crystal and Dave left, Crystal used the restroom…and my chances for coffee this morning got flushed.

You see, while very livable, my yurt is a work in progress…

You didn’t know I lived in a yurt?  You don’t know what a yurt is?  Read all about it HERE.

…as I was sayin’, my yurt is a work in progress.  Some things aren’t finished yet, and some things that ARE finished I need to go back and tweak a bit.

The toilet falls in the “go back and tweak a bit” category.

Actually, the toilet needs re-tweaking.

Federal law (sticking their nose in people’s business again) says all new toilets sold in the last few years MUST be low-flow, or water saver, toilets.  Have you used a low-flow toilet?  They ARE low-flow…the water flow is so low that you are lucky to get everything flushed in fewer than 3 flushes…negating the water saver aspect.

Anyway, when I installed it, the adjustment for the water level was “off” a bit, turning “low-flow” into “almost no-flow”…so I adjusted it.

Well, my “adjustment” made it so the handle got stuck in the down position unless you actually pulled it back up.  This turned my low-flow toilet into a flow and flow and flow toilet.

I’ve been meaning to adjust it again..really!  I have!

Did I mention I’m a bit of a procrastinator?

Anyway, Crystal didn’t know about the sticking handle, and didn’t pull it back up.

Flow, you low-flow toilet.  Flow and flow and flow.

Crystal didn’t notice it running.

Flow toilet.  Flow and flow and flow.

I didn’t use the bathroom before going to bed, so I didn’t notice it either.

Flow toilet.  Flow and flow and flow.

I don’t have water supplied by  municipal water system…I live way out in the country down a dirt path road, and I get my water supplied by a well.

Flow toilet.  Flow and flow and flow.

Household wells have a limited amount of water available all at once.

Flow toilet.  Flow and flow and flow.

My toilet flowed.  It flowed and flowed and flowed.  So much for being a water saver toilet.  It flowed either all night or until the well ran dry, whichever came first.

I love my coffee.  LOTS of coffee.  Too much coffee.

Especially first thing in the morning.

Morning coffee takes water, and my toilet flowed and flowed and flowed.  It flowed ‘til it had “flowed” dry.

Now you understand the post title…”Toilet malfunction…how do I make coffee?”

Over the next 24 hours the well will refill…but until then I miss my coffee.

And I still haven’t adjusted the toilet.  If you come visit, remember to pull the handle up, OK?



All about Bob the nutjob!

Bob is a N Georgia blogger, homesteader, yurt liver, self-sufficiency nutjob, pig farmer, political activist, politician baiter...and the best damn cook you know that doesn't make a living at it.He can be followed onTwitter. You can also "Like" our Facebook page.

  4 Responses to “Toilet malfunction…How do I make coffee?”

Comments (4)
  1. For my first-time here, I have no idea why I picked this post. I’m reading thinking, “I’ve gotta keep reading because I want to know what the heck the toilet has to do with coffee.” Bingo … I now get it. But, just so you know, in the past couple of years I’ve replaced two toilets … they are good and my water bill has gone down. No foolin’. Nice post!

  2. Hell Frank…this toilet is only 2 years old…new when I rebuilt my house in 2009 after a disgruntled neighbor burned my house down…oh well…shoulda spent more on a better one, but I’m cheap frugal.

    Thanks for stopping by…and y’all come back now, ya hear?

  3. Toilets are like doctors, carpenters, mechanics, paint, etc … there are good ones and there are bad ones.

    Instead of asking for an explanation, I imagine you have a post about the disgruntled neighbor.

  4. Actually Frank, other than mentioning it in passing in a couple of posts (without going into detail), I don’t think I’ve said much about the fire and it’s origins. I’ve mostly concentrated on what has happened going forward from that incident…hence the Yurt Yak category.


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