Yes…the post title up there…”Where’s my sign?”…is a reference to the comedy routine “Here’s your sign” of Bill Ingvall’s fame. I think I’m going to have to get one…a sign…made for myself, and soon.
You see, I’m something of a Luddite. No…let me correct that…I’m a LOT of a Luddite.
Remember WAAAAY back in the last century…along about 1998 and 1999…when all of the dire predictions about how Y2K was going to bring down the electricity grid, was going to kill all of the phones, was going to put all cars on the side of the road because all of them for years have been run by computers…remember when the predictions were that modern life as we knew it was going to come to a screeching halt and we were going to be taken back to the 1800’s? Remember how everyone was dreading that? Not me…
I’m one of the VERY few folks I know who was actually hoping Y2K would be as bad as predicted. I was looking forward to hitching up the horse to the wagon once a month to make the 14 mile round trip to town for basic supplies like sugar, flour, and tobbacco, and spend the rest of my time here on my little slice of heaven living as self sufficiently as possible.
OK…OK…so maybe I would miss one thing. I would HATE giving up the ability to step into the shower, turn a knob, and have hot water. There is absolutely NOTHING like a hot shower to relax well worked muscles.
That’s it though. Beyond that I was looking forward to Y2K…really!
So…what the heck was I thinking last week when I got a cell phone, and not just ANY cell phone, that just makes cell calls (are there still any of those?) but an…ANDROID. Damn…I thought an android was a semi-human, semi-robot computer run “thing” that did our work for us, allowing us to be even lazier…like the robot maid in “The Jetsons” TV show back in 1962 and 1963.
Anyway, I’ve had this…ANDROID…for a little over a week now. I got it last Tuesday, and it only took me three days to figger out how to do something complicated with it…like make a phone call. I know it does a lot more…texting (whatever that is), taking pictures, shooting video, washing the dishes, repairing the TV, doing the laundry…but so far I have figgered out how to make a phone call. Yep…I have a high tech communications device that is probably capable of talking to the Mars rover vehicle and I can…call Kroger to see if they carry my favorite brand of flour tortillia! Isn’t that impressive?
Speaking of Kroger…that is the first thing I planned to learn how to actually USE the phone’s capabilities for…grocery shopping efficiently and saving money. To that end, I found a shopping list all (app, not application. See how fast I pick up on the terminology?!) and have been trying to learn how to use it. For 4 days I have been trying to learn how to use it.
It’s 8am. I’m going grocery shopping at noon. After 4 days I have managed to build a shopping list. It has one item on it so far…peanut butter. I know what I need…sorta…but all I have gotten into my Android’s shopping list so far is peanut butter.
Where’s my sign?